We've reached the two (minute) week NASCAR warning, folks. Two weeks? TWO WEEKS.
Everybody plan accordingly.
Get those Christmas lights down (yep, mine are still up, too), mow the lawn, tend to the garden, fix the leak under the sink and take your partner out on the town (we don't judge here), because the 2023 NASCAR season unofficially goes green in two damn weeks.
I say unofficially, of course, because the real season starts Feb. 19 with the Daytona 500. Duh. But, that being said, we will have cars on the track, and drivers in seats at the LA Coliseum in less than 14 days.
And those drivers' butts better be covered with underwear! Huh?
Yep, that's right. We got a lot to talk about today, starting with NASCAR's WILD rule change that mandates underoos under firesuits. Didn't know that was up for debate, but I'm honestly a little sad it's been settled.
Elsewhere, Hailie Deegan got an early start on the fellas down in Daytona, FOX (great company!) preseason photoshoots are starting to roll in, ANOTHER banger of a NASCAR wedding and who was everyone's favorite driver growing up?
Four tires and enough fuel to get me from here to LA, Monday Morning Pit-Stop - the 'We're Almost There, Just Hold On A Little Longer!' edition - is going green!
NASCAR institutes mandatory underwear rule
I mean, we had to start here, right?
What a rule. What a shock to the system when I found out this was an issue. And how sad now that it's apparently resolved.
The fellas in the glass building took a page out of the No Fun League's (NFL) playbook last week and issued a major rule change: all drivers must now wear fire resistant underwear and socks.
Apparently, wearing underwear at all was "recommended" before this landmark rule change. Now, its required.
Yep. Gone are the days of Calvin Klein's and Hanes - if anything - downstairs. Starting this season, NASCAR is requiring drivers to wear SFI or FIA-rated fire-resistant head socks or helmet skirts, underwear, and socks.
Don't know if you can get those in the little $4.99 eight-packs at Walmart, but you never know. I've certainly seen weirder things at that place.
Hailie Deegan hits Daytona Beach for Rolex week
Don't know that I can find a better transition for Walmart than Daytona Beach. There's one on every corner down here. Trust me.
Anyway, our girl Hailie Deegan has been NASCAR's 'Next Big Thing' for years now, and she took another step this past offseason when she announced she'd be taking her Truck Series talents to ThorSport Racing in 2023.
The Ford driver made the move in part because her former team was moving to Toyota (yuck), and Hailie is a great American and wanted to stay with the Blue Oval. Don't know if that last part is true, but I like to believe it is.
Deegan - the Truck Series' Most Popular Driver every single year - has yet to win a race, but it's not for lack of effort. The 21-year-old is already in Daytona ahead of next month's season-opener, this time taking part in Rolex 24 week ahead of next weekend's event.
Side note: if you haven't been to the Rolex 24, do yourself a favor and go for the weekend. The Saturday night of the race is the best atmosphere at the track all year, and that includes the 500. You're welcome.
Hailie Deegan hits Daytona Beach for Rolex 24 week.
Todd Gilliland gives us a NASCAR Bahamas wedding
I'm a little sad this will most likely be our final wedding of the NASCAR offseason, but, if it is, we're going out with a bang.
Todd Gilliland flew the fellas down to the Bahamas and tied the knot with an absolute banger of a week. And I think we have a new NASCAR power couple on the IG streets, too, because new wife Marissa gave us a peak behind the curtains of the big week.
Todd Gilliland and Marissa Gilliland tied the knot in the Bahamas.
Of the NASCAR celebs in attendance, another power couple - Zane Smith and McCall Gaulding- looked to have one hell of time.
These two stole the show during the end-of-season banquet back in November, and they're certainly a force to be reckoned with in the sport.
Kyle and Samantha Busch are still atop, followed closely by Ryan Blaney and Hooters girlfriend Gianna Tulio. But we have some up-and-comers who are closing in FAST.
Hailie Deegan wasn't the only one to hit the beach this past week. Zane Smith and McCall Gaulding checked in from the Bahamas.
NASCAR on FOX preseason photoshoots start to roll in
On our way out, Part 1!
Can't put a bow on this bad boy without searching out some of the best glamour shots from last week's preseason NASCAR on FOX media session.
Incredible way to finish that, right? Bet you didn't have 'Alex Bowman posing on a leather chair' on your 2023 NASCAR bingo card, but that's why this column outpaces the rest of the boring stuff you read.
Come for the Bahamas beach wedding, stay for the weird Bowman pictures. Can't say we're not grinding today.
PS: How about Kyle Busch wearing a checkered flag cape? Power move for Rowdy. He's gonna have a monster season.
Drivers give wild responses about their favorite drivers
On our way out, Part II!
I came across this clip over the weekend and had to break it down like the Zapruder film. The kind folks over at NBC asked the fellas who their favorite NASCAR driver was, and we had a WIDE range of answers.
Let's break it down.
Chase Elliott gives the obvious, 'My dad' answer, which is fine. When your dad is Awesome Bill from Dawsonville, it's a pretty easy question.
Bubba Wallace goes with Dale Earnhardt Jr., which is certainly relatable. I know Bubba ain't exactly a fan favorite around these parts, but you can't really be mad at that response.
Joey Logano says himself, which is pretty on brand for him. Ryan Blaney shows how young he is by saying Jimmie Johnson. BJ McCleod finally gives us the correct answer in Dale Earnhardt Sr.
Austin Cindric made me chuckle with the Chase Briscoe or Tim Richmond line, and Austin Dillon checks in with another vote for Dale Jr.
And how about Austin's mustache! What a damn look. Have an offseason, Austin!
OK, that's it for today. Two weeks.
Well, that's not technically true. Give us the facts, Larry Mac!